Our lives are like candles in the wind.

Unspeakable moment

2012-01-29T03:03:00.001+08:00

Celebrated Jueying 21st at Lenas last night and spent really alot on everything.

New year wasn't that good for me this year. More of the upset time than the happy joyful time. Totally hate it because it's totally affecting my mood. Well, went to visit on Jus's house this evening, haha was so grateful that he invited me over. Luckily didn't play much on blackjack because I lose in ALL the rounds. Totally screwed up moment, luck wasn't on me and never seemed to be on me.

Ahhh, gonna back to the single solo time.

Pre-CNY stressness!

2012-01-16T00:12:00.000+08:00

CNY is really round the corner that I don't even have the time to shop for it!
I've yet to buy anything, except a bag. Where to get the time for it, we are damn screwed. Seriously praying that there's no dpd tutorial tomorrow so I can go and get my cny clothes tmr!!!

I'm proud of myself for completing the napfa though I've failed it miserably. But it's alright, I've the guts to complete it, unlike others. Muscle aching for three days, totally damn weak. Pasted tigerbalm paste on my thigh when I went out, like an old woman. Having semi-diarrhea these few days, what's wrong seriously!!! Spa interview tomorrow and I'm freaking nervous, and I guess it's because it's maggie seow. Life's never gonna be easy for us.

A wake up call

2012-01-09T22:49:00.000+08:00

Went shopping with Shirlene on Sunday to buy new year clothes but ended up, we bought all the unncessary things like korean snacks! Hahaha.

Got back fm result and it was really damn disappointing, like totally a wake-up call for me. I didn't expect myself to get such a low grade when I've really putting in effort on it. I doubt my spa, cruise and club will do relatively well already. Hopes vanish.

HELLO 2012! ☺

2012-01-02T06:21:00.002+08:00

Happy new year, 2012!!!!! ☺☺☺
2011 was a terrible year for me, literally cried every two weeks and had many unhappiness within myself. Time was tough but trying my best to go through all the hard time. Now, sincerely hoping that 2012 will be a better year for me and everyone.

Spent the last day of 2011 at bedok jetty with Jiale and his friends, having fishing and cooking our own food over there. Was mad tired, but fun!

2012 is gonna be a new year ahead for me, gonna graduate in 3 months time and everyone will be heading towards different places. Hopefully I'll end up in a private uni because I know I must due to my parents. So gonna plan out my resolution for 2012! ☺

2012 Resolutions!!! ☺☺☺

1. Definitely lose weight, a resolution for every year. Please at least lose 5 kg, sincerely praying for that.
2. Get a driving license, at least by the end of the year, with all the saving made.
3. Don't be like 2011, and went round owing people money. Bank should have at least min of $500 saving and gonna open a new UOB/Citibank account.
4. Study really hard for my last semester and GPA increased to more than 3.
5. Lesser quarrel and argument made between me and my boyfriend.
6. Keeping contacts with my lovely friends, they are one of my supporting pillar.
7. Visit grandma and grandpa more often!
8. Find a job that I'll really enjoy working.
9. Gonna be a gorgeous 21 year old lady! ☺

Goodnight, gonna sleep and wake up to finish my FM report.
Once again, happy 2012! ☺

This holiday

2011-12-31T01:23:00.002+08:00

Decorated my room past few months and this is how it looks like! Wanna decorate it more like a princess room :) But I think its hard with my such laziness. Thanks Chuanhui introduced me the LOVE photo frame, nice and cheap! :)

Couple tee with him yesterday, and he said his haircut. Like a brand new him. :)

And this gonna be the last post in 2011, sincerely hope that 2012 will be a better year for all of us.

Goodbye 2011, all the ups and downs time, I'll never forget.

I'll start afresh in 2012, hopefully :)

Life's kinda stress.

2011-12-28T01:47:00.001+08:00

It's already Tuesday and I haven't done with my DPD and FM individual and I don't seem to be worrying at all. What's this! I should be worried about my studies. I still need to go out on Fri, Sat and Sun. How am I suppose to finish everything by Friday! I really wonder why.

Been meeting Jiale these few days. Where are my friends? Hahaha, totally have no time to go out at all because everytime Jiale and I meet, we will be doing our own things which is projects. He has been rushing through his group project while I am rushing through my individual project. Ah, life's stressed right now! :(

Alright, gonna do my dpd and going out with mom to buy her new year clothes and going to find Jiale for project again. Oh life~ This is life~ Oh my life~

Merry Windy Christmas & 1 year

2011-12-26T01:59:00.002+08:00

Hello all my lovely dovely friends, merry christmas! ☺
Spent the wonderful christmas this year with boyfriend, my friends, and his friends. Met up with Jaslyn, Thaijin and Weiting on 23rd for shopping and dinner! Was really a nice catch up with Jaslyn, :') And supposed to wake up and meet baby and his friends at 7am to surprise Royston but I was really too tired to wake up, so I gave it a miss.

Spent christmas eve with him and his friends. Walked around cineleisure, orchard central, 313 and everywhere. Went to the snow for the photo taking, was really shiok but embarrassing 'coz nearly slipped several times.

Baby surprised me with roses on our one year and christmas. Hehehe, he thinks I don't like it but I do. ☺

Went to have pizza hut and tried the jolly glee pizza, ahhh the mashed potatoes and cranberry spoilt everything I think. Baby drew a card for me with my portray picture, hahahahahah! I think it doesn't look alike but lot of people think it's cute and look like! Do I really look that fat? :/ But I still like it, ☺

And I do appreciate everything now. ☺

Hehehehe, love to be in the snow-feel but its fake and freaking smelly.

And baby cooked maggie for me when I was hungry, thanks lot!

Now, I'm looking forward to new year, chinese new year and valentine day! ☺

We Got Married

2011-12-21T19:33:00.002+08:00

YONGHWA ☺☺☺

Mom bought this from her workplace, hehehe so cute!

Rainbow again

2011-12-19T05:20:00.000+08:00

Worked for Standard Chartered on Sat to give out balloons. Jiale was pumping the balloons, Qiurong was putting the stick and I was in charge of distributing it! Hehehehe. Fun yet tiring.

Was a little pissed off with school stuffs and got really disappointed and angry. Now, gonna settle spa alone and hope I won't do a bad job. Went to b's house these few dayss to do projects and it was really tiring. Going URA in 5 hours times and I'm not yet sleeping, good game.

Anyway, Yonghwa is really cute at times. I know Thaijin gotta prove to me that I'm no longer faithful to Jonghyun, which is...true. But still, will still love both. :) And Leeteuk too!

C.M.I

2011-12-14T22:59:00.001+08:00

Omg, really cmi already.

Club mid sem test tomorrow and I'm still so unprepared. It's the first time I'm so unprepared for a test, totally disappointed with myself. Hehehe told Rachel that if she see this post means I cmi already, and guess what, this post is created. I read through three lectures and my vision started getting blur. It's like time to tell me to go to sleep already!

Sigh, hopefully tmr will be fine. Really no confident at all. :'(

Study + Slacking period

2011-12-13T01:29:00.000+08:00

Yes! It's Starbucks 1 for 1 day! Jiale bought cranberry white choco mocha frap and I bought peppermint mocha frap. I was laughing at him that it was so disgusting to mix cranberry with white choco and with mocha. I told him so badly that he would definitely regret it.

Ended up, I'm the one who's really regretting my peppermint mocha frap over there. My face totally changed 360d.

Went to find the secondary school clique for Yiheng's birthday celebration at 201. Had zi char and this japanese pork rib machiam cheat money but it looks cool. I think half of the price paid for the decoration.

And home after that. Thanks Qiaofeng for sending me to NTUC to buy my broccoli for my salad tmr! ;) Though it's only eggs and broccoli but I'm happy with it already! Hehehehe. And b wants me to buy water bottle and start to drink plain water and since I only drink my diamond water so I must carry it around everyday! :)

Great day!

2011-12-12T02:16:00.001+08:00

After the heavy storm, there's always a beautiful rainbow.

Which couple doesn't quarrel like they gonna kill each other and be sweet to each other after that. All couple do when it was at the peak, so am I.

Shopping at Nex with b, and saw this hello kitty performance over there! *eyes open wild* The products over there was wow! So gonna decorate my house with hello kitty in the future! Cutie pie kitty!

Walked around and saw this cartoon shop and the first thing caught my attention was the pororo and it reminds me of running man haha! Jiale was so fancinated over it and I secretly took the photos of him with pororo! Actually I don't know this pororo exists till haha mentioned it.

Then dinner with his family for steamboat and off to meet Joyce and Yihui for supper.

Gonna meet him for studying tomorrow, club ah club.

Greatly appreciate

2011-12-11T02:47:00.001+08:00

I'll be greatly appreciate if there's someone who will buy tiramisu cake for me right now. The craving is real strong now. Feeling really sleepy now, 'cause sleep at 7.15am in the morning. Was been like a fool, but I used my time to watch 14 episodes of wgm!

Kind of don't really like Yonghwa already, haha.

Running wildly

2011-12-10T07:08:00.001+08:00

Looking out the window and the sky is so blue right now. Birds are literally chirping away, and I can hear all the vehicles driving pass the expressway behind my block. But all I'm thinking now is really about your presence now.

Tears flows unknowingly when I lied on the bed and thoughts started running wild. Afterall, we are still different. Forcing myself to sleep now but all my mind is functioning what is really happening right now over at your side. I doubt you will ever understand how I really feel right now, ah yes you'll never understand.

I know some of the lrms know my blog when it supposed to be only some people know but seems like they are really good at blog hopping. Whatever it is, I'll still vent out whatever I am unhappy with because ultimately, you guys have no rights to judge and comment me.

I'll still be myself. I'll never change for anyone, when no one is this world will ever change for anybody. Because, human are purely selfish. My eyes are painful but it's definitely nothing compared to my heart right now, because it's heart-wrenching now.

Break-time

2011-12-10T06:10:00.001+08:00

Thanks We Got Married Yongseo couple cheered me up tonight, despite feeling real awful now. You accompanied me throughout the night till 6.11am now and you got me addicted to you. Yonghwa is definitely a good husband/boyfriend that most of the girls fancy about. His characteristics and charisma is really amazing and wow wow wow. Really laughed like mad watching their marriage life, ahh love korean variety show now.

And yongseo & teukso made me slowly feel bored with running man now.

K, whatever it is, I am still unhappy right now but who cares right, not like there's anybody really care now. Alright, should go to bathe like real soon! Been in love with Jonghyun, Leeteuk, Ryeowook and Yonghwa now. Luckily no other guys in CN.Blue caught my attention already.

And I'll be back to exam next week! :(

Happy birthday!

2011-12-04T04:18:00.001+08:00

Happy birthday to my dearest neighbour, primary school friend, girlfriend! We've known each other for 10 years already and really damn happy that we are still in contact! Kekeke. Ahhhh, come to my house downstair htht soon please! Love ya, girl!

Back to December

2011-12-03T04:02:00.001+08:00

Hi December. Last year, you gave me sweet memories. This year, you gave me misery. Why the hell are you treating this to me?

Been feeling so restless every single day due to school work, projects and stuffs. Realizing that I haven't been doing group projects for two weeks already, we're really far behind. Head spinning right now. Past few days were like hell shit for me but really really really thanks Daryl for accompanying me throughout these few days. Thanks for constantly texting me to make sure that I am okay, still manageable, to make sure that I have stop crying and stuffs. Thanks for accompanied me for dinner despite you have many projects.

I know I need to move on. I shouldn't torture myself anymore. K, move on meiyan!

24 hours never enough

2011-11-29T00:12:00.001+08:00

My virgin trip to cruise was with my last semester classmates! I was like wow wow wow inside the cruise, it's freaking cool and nice! I'm still very tempted by the buffet that they provide! Ahhh, I wanna go cruising soon, mum!

Celebrated bby's birthday throughout the few days, with Daryl they all, with Kenze they all and myself. Bought him a checker shirt, braclet and a belt but never see him wear before, -_- Feel damn fucking shitz.

Celebrated Zhiyu's birthday on Saturday and he invited us to Orchard Parade Hotel. Sigh, ended up took cab home from Bedok and gotta waste bby time to transfer kaching for me 'cause I was totally bankrupt.

Finally meet up with Yihui and Joyce after so so so long, like the last time we met was one month ago. Hehehe, finally had dinner at eighteen chef! :) Yihui is as usual damn crappy and talk about his fling while Joyce is still forever in her own world.

Anyway, really thanks quite a number of friends for these few days, like standing by my side whenever I needed them the most. Things might be tough for me, but I'm still standing strong. Thanks everyone, ^^

Alright, shall go back to study dpd, a fucking dry subject that I don't know what am I studying all about. And I feel like eating prata leh~ Mr teh tarik one, :)

Hectic, upset, happy

2011-11-26T01:53:00.001+08:00

Hectic week again, was totally breatheless and been rushing through my project assignment. Been owing alot of people money, and it's around $100+. I really wonder how am I suppose to return asap with my current financial status.

But it seems like whatever I've done isn't been appreciated. Ah fuck lah, screwed up this life.
I'm tired, I need to sleep already!

STRESSFUL LIFE

2011-11-19T01:53:00.001+08:00

Life's been real stress these few days. Actually not really too? 'Coz I've been slacking for this entire week! I kept on dragging my spa individual assignment from Monday, all the way till now, which is already Friday. Started on sales and marketing and I already felt so tired. Suddenly feel kind of useless.

Relationship has been ups and downs for me. But I am still standing strong here and I hope I can stand it long.

K, I miss Chuanhui, Jaslyn, Thaijin, Weiting, Rachel, Yihui, Joyce, Anna and my friends.

Apart from me.

2011-11-16T00:34:00.001+08:00

This heartshaped remind me of you. When I was taking this photo, you appeared in my mind. I don't know what's wrong with me. I told myself not to be so into you but I just can't stop myself from doing so. Day by day, it becomes stronger. I becoming more defensive till the stage where I hate myself so much. I'm fucking way too dependent on you already, and now, you wanna let me live alone.

Glad that house been back to normal, just that bed haven't arrive for parents and bro. Glad that my room is perfectly fine now! :) Stress, I'm fucking stress with school work. Sigh~

2011-11-05T00:59:00.000+08:00

Going to the third week of school already and I am already shagged by the early school life. Having 9am lesson everyday except Fri. But next week, abu neh neh tutor gonna do a make up tutor on fri at 9am. Hohsay, I'm dying. Lectures been quite tough and life's been stressful recently. Quarrels seem like inevitable.

School life's really suckz. Now, I'm thinking if to go nihon to work as the operator. Should I?

Late post of birthday

2011-11-02T01:05:00.000+08:00

Thanks Rachel for the surprise and gave me a rose, when we met up for dinner! Love ya, babe! Last minute meet up with Yeeheng and they both treated me Ajisen, hehehe! I gave Yeeheng almost half of my ramen. I still prefer Ramen play!

Yihui and Joyce surprised me at Whitesand and I was really really surprised! Hehehe. They brought me to Orchard and we had Ramen play! I'm a fan of ramen, really! Yummy yummy! They gave me the mega balloon and I swear everyone was looking at me, with that big big big extreme balloon. But I was really happy because this was actually what I've been long awaiting for.

I always wished someone will buy me roses with their sincere heart, not like my ex. I always wished someone will surprised me with romantic things like using candles to create the letters directly under my house, with that big patch of grass. I always wished someone will gives me the helium balloon. I ain't expecting a lot of things, but just those simple romantic surprises. Hahaha, but since I alr said it now, I doubt it gonna be surprise anymore. Ah, now isn't about the romantic things.

IT'S GONNA BE ABOUT THE STRESSFUL LIFE ALREADY!

It's time to start chionging for project already, are you ready?

It's twenty!

2011-10-30T04:29:00.000+08:00

Happy twenty birthday to myself. Surprisingly, I don't really look forward this year birthday as compared to other years. I don't know what's the reason that lead to this but yeah, still I was happy.

Celebrated with secondary school friends over at eighteen chef and Jasmine baked the cupcakes for me! :') Freakin' touched and nice, really! Hope Huishan and her won't get angry over my nasty comments because I don't mean it at all.

Took cab over to Jiale's house and met him. He played guitar when the clock striked twelve and he took out the canele cake. Didn't know that their cake has changed, ahhh. But still, it's freaking nice because it's the first time a guy played instrument to me, face-to-face. He gave me all his attention and focus on me, was freaking happy, felt like a princess!

He sprayed those party thing on me, and got me so dirty, hahahahaha! He's like a small kid, making me feel really happy at that point of time! Loves!

And thanks alot of poly cliques part II present. Jaslyn came over to my house and I wasn't at home, really freaking happy when I received the call from my mom about her dropping by. Hehehehe. Oh yeah, Jiale's present for me crashed with the one I went shopping in the afternoon. Coincidence, or not? Lol, telepathy in us.

Oh well, I really wish everyday will be my birthday because I'll be treated like a small princess and it's really damn shiok! Hehehe, alright, back to reality soon! :(

Picnic celebration

2011-10-28T04:18:00.000+08:00

Poly clique celebrated my birthday yesterday, together with the picnic. Was kind of expected because Karyaow leaked it out.

Though just one more day will be my birthday but I'm no longer looking forward to it anymore. Hope Jiale will celebrate it well with me on the actual day. :)

Spook myself out

2011-10-24T01:38:00.000+08:00

Finally been to the sentosa spooktacular this year! Still remember that we didn't go last year and ended up quarreling with Zhiyu over the phone, hehe.

Initially was scary because never been in the trail before but slowly, it's not as scary as the first time. Screamed like mad 'coz those talent scream right in front of me. But I seriously don't understand why some people will cry.

The saddest issue now is about the school reopening tmr, it's really sucks! It's gonna stressed me out simply because of the proj. Sigh, no school life is really shiok.

F.O.Wealth.

2011-10-22T03:02:00.000+08:00

Pimple growing on my back of the body, it's painful.

Spooktacular tomorrow and freaking excited 'bout it. Kind of nervous when I think of it. Dinner at a stupid old kopitiam with Jiale and went to fountain of wealth. Wanted to dedicate songs for him but didn't appear, kind of pissed inside. Ah, just two more days to school starts, totally don't look forward at all. So many people that I don't know in my class, this sucks! Guess I gonna find a part time job since I'm so broke right now.

The unwanted.

2011-10-21T02:30:00.000+08:00

Was supposed to have a date at night safari with Jiale but due to some incident, we didn't go ahead with the plan. Went over to the chalet with his co and had fun. The sad thing was Jiale and I had to sleep on the floor, ah this sucks!

Happy birthday, Shirlene. Celebrated Kenzee and Shirlene birthday over at the chalet and the plan of throwing Kenzee into the pool was screwed. Back home and was real tired, totally fell asleep in the midst of replying to message! Hehehe.

Am real excited and nervous for the sentosa spook this weekend! Gonna freak myself out man! :(

One for me

2011-10-19T04:45:00.000+08:00

Last week for holiday before going back to school and get shag everyday. I seriously need to tune back my body clock before I miss out all my lectures and tutorials on the first week. I'm not gonna skip any lectures...for the first few weeks. It's gonna be a tough decision to choose project group now, don't wanna work with someone that I'm so unfamiliar with. Ahh, just screwed this timetable up.

Don't know if I should be excited or not, just ten more days to my birthday and I'm turning 20. Wtf, I'm finally going to be adult soon but I know my parents still treat me like small kid. At least they give me much freedom now though not that lot, but they are definitely improving. ^^

Going for chalet tomorrow, with Jiale and his co, as well as their girlfriends. Hope I'm not that extra freak.
Goodnight, and thanks for beloved Thaijin introduced we got married and hello baby! Fucking nice, bodoh! \m/ It's 4.44am and I'm meeting Eugenia at 11.30am, good game!

Summer ends.

2011-10-16T04:25:00.000+08:00

It feels great to be out all alone, in the night at the park to enjoy the breeze. The wind so strong that makes you shiver inside. Gonna meet Chuanhui for shopping and dinner tomorrow! ;)

Timbre fun night.

2011-10-12T04:17:00.000+08:00

Celebrated belated birthday for Silas at Timbre Substation on Mon. Totally love the duck pizza!

Been real long since I've catch up with the girls and hanging out with them, so as the guys.

We thought we missed the last train for circle line but luckily we managed to catch the last one, if not my expenses will be even higher. Gonna find one day to shop before school starts. Have yet to buy all those accessories that I wanted! Time to jio friends out man, better than keep staying in my comfort zone.

Life's been slightly boring after quitted nihon. Friends left, never really contacted now, except for mint. Totally miss working with her, when we had lot of fun over there. Alright, trying to enjoy this holiday but it seriously seems sucks.

Alright, need to return uniform tomorrow. Say goodbye.

So sick of love song

2011-10-08T01:50:00.000+08:00

I'm so sick, damn. Now, I'm sick, damn. Sore throat, flu, stomach discomfort and headache, what's this? Ahhh, damn, really feeling damn shit now!

Sigh, gonna be one of my sad day.
Just resigned from nihon because of the sudden changes and the new manager, really couldn't stay longer. It isn't like the past anymore, :( I miss all my fun friends over at nihon, when we can shout and laugh for small little things. Miss all the chef, especially uncle tommy, he's so fatherly! Ahh, really hard to make such decision but did it without choice! :(

Confusing!

2011-10-07T00:06:00.000+08:00

Didn't go to work today because I wasn't feeling that well. Muscle aching like shit and head spinning non-stop. Been like this for two days already, this is hell man! I don't know is it because of the indonesia deforestation again, forever one leh seriously. Hello, it's making me suffer, bodoh.

Received calls from bro and he lost his iphone at gei leng kai minimart. Quickly rushed down to check but gei leng kai said didn't see it, confirm fake bodoh! Told him straight to the face that we gonna file report to police. With the CCTV over there, we shall see who is the ultimate loser to steal the phone. Sigh, bro lost his iphone and Steve Jobs passed away today. A talented man left again.

Had late lunch with Rachel at airport Aston! Chicken dry like grass please, totally no appetite at all! Dinner with secondary school friend after that. Bought my coin purse and some lotion. Now, I'm pasting the tiger balm paste. Muscle fucking ache like hell. :( Yay, meeting irritating man tmr.

2011-10-01T02:27:00.000+08:00

Hello, I know I grew fatter because a lot of people saying that. This gonna be a very sad thing man, like seriously.

Eighteen chef with Shirlene, in love with the iced lemon tea! :]

Alright, can't wait for the nihon buffet with baby soon, hehehehe!

Tiger beer w milk

2011-09-30T04:36:00.000+08:00

Catching hong kong drama is really the best thing to do at night, making my night so wonderful! But, it doesn't seem to be the case today. We quarrelled again, and it hurts me deep inside. He actually defending a girl and argued with me. This feeling really sucks to the max, is this like a karma for me?

I love you, boy

2011-09-27T18:30:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry, to one who loves me so deep and been devoted to me. I have been doing things that hurt you again and again. Though you are generous and willing to forgive me again and again, but I just think that I don't deserve your love anymore. I don't know if I have take your love for granted but I can be honest that I do love you. I appreciate every little things that you have done for me and I remembered it in mind.

Though we had uncountable quarrels and you used to hurt me time and again, I never hate you. Nine months aren't short, nor long. But we went through a lot of obstacles to become what we are now. Time and again, I told myself not to give up so easily because I really have feeling for you. Throughout these period, you have changed tremendously but now, the problem lies with me. I miss the way when you kissed my forehead, and hugged me so tightly. I miss the way when we held onto each other hand and never wanted to let go. I miss the way when you asked me to kiss your arm and you will get so happy over it. All the little things that we went through are part of our memories. I don't want to let this nine months become our only memories, I wanna create more memories with you.

I know it was my fault for whatever it is now. I am sorry that I have so many guy friends and causing you to feel insecure. Maybe I am way too greedy that I wish to have everything in life. I don't wanna give up on my guy friends but I never wanna give up on you too. Baby, I really miss you. But I really have no idea how to start afresh again.

I love you, boy.

2011-09-27T01:27:00.000+08:00

I'm all about you, I'm all about us.

First time listened to Aaron Carter, I'm all about you, and I fell in love with it straight. It's freaking nice, but Jiale said it isn't. His taste for music is kind of weird. That's not the main purpose though.

Talked about work issue, it will really pissed me off. Damn, Jeff is gone and now come the new ass manager. I really dislike her so much that I argue with her. I guess all the female staffs will dislike her because her attitude towards female and male is totally different. Argue with her during work because she said she doesn't want to give me schedule next week, just because I give two days only. I found it real ridiculous. What if my school reopens and I can't work? Ahh whatever then, since she's the boss, I'm just a slave. Damn it man!

So basically, I'm gonna rot for these whole week. Worst thing, I have no money to go for shopping at all. This really suckz man! Dinner with Jiale just now, we commented on each other as though we didn't see each other for years, but actually for 4 days only. Alright, I'm hungry again, this sucks! :(

2011-09-25T01:30:00.000+08:00

First Saturday night that I'm gonna turn in so early.

Formula 1 is on Singapore now and the race seems so exciting, but I ain't taking part in helping out. I'm really broke currently that I have no money for lunch/dinner soon. Met up with Anna in the afternoon to shop around cotton on 'cause there's 30% discount storewide! Sat down to chill and share each other's problem and relationship is really such a complicated and irritating issue.

Sometimes, I really wonder if single will be better for me or getting into a relationship. And, I've been thinking about this issue for quite a long time. I don't wanna be unfair for him and let him wait for me all the times. Relationship isn't like this. We gotta be fair. Dinner with Daryl and slacked and talked about life. Both of us went to meet Benny awhile before we ciao off. Okay, time to sleep, tmr need to drag myself off the damn nice bed to work. Goodnight world.

All I can say is sorry

2011-09-24T03:07:00.000+08:00

I'm so in love with RnB songs, it's really so nice and making my night feel so peaceful, though it sounds damn lonely at times. Totally love listening to fm 91.3 at night, the best time to listen! ;-)

Relieved that I didn't work today, felt so tired and shag, for no reason. Gotta start enjoying my holiday to the fullest, but I'm broke, and I don't know how am I supposed to enjoy now. All my hard-earned money had spent on friends' birthday present, that sucks man. Hello, I want kaching kaching please! Lunched with Rachel at Aston's airport, yummy yummy! :-) Then, meet the usual 5A clique at 201 for dinner.

Okay people, I'm likea happy now because my long lost best friend is back in action again and really hope he remembers what he said man! :-) Don't wish to lose this friend again, because good friend are hard to get!

I'm still thinking when to visit my grandparents and current internet connection is pissing me off.
& Chuanhui, when's drinking session? :-) I miss you and Jaslyn and Thaijin.

Ups and downs

2011-09-22T01:17:00.000+08:00

Life's really really really full of ups and downs, and it's really called life.

Past few nights was really damn dramatic, and it actually happened to me, in real life. I was devastated to the point that I literally drink beers and I found it tasteless. Guess the bitterness of my heart is really so numb that it can't compare with the bitterness of the tiger beer crystal, heineken and carlsberg. First time in my life that I drank so many different types of beers. The night was really hard to pass, and always etched in my heart. Guilt can never leave me now, forever gonna haunt me till I die.

First night was havoc, I sang song for them and made noise to make them stay awake. I used Dennis's money to bet on blackjack. I was hungry in the midst of the sleep, I woke them up for breakfast, really such a good bros. Benedict and Royston took special care on me for the entire night, not allowing anyone to harm me and they cheered me up when I was really down and gonna cry soon. They stopped me from drinking, they stopped me from getting hurt in heart. It's something I have to go through, I know it.

Second night was more havoc. They smashed cake on Benjamin and he's like such a poor thing. His revenge succeed. Wanted to drink more but they really stopped me in the way that Benedict was really angry with me. No choice, he's my bro, afraid that he's really angry with me and ignored me. No picture was taken throughout the two nights. Still, I do enjoyed the nights despite feeling real down.

The down stage wasn't over yet. Now, I have the urge to drink again. Okay, heineken gonna be my best friend soon. Damn, I don't want to have beer belly though. I really hope I can sort out my feeling and mind. No one shall get hurt, or, the hurt should be minimize. I know now, all his friends are angry with me and really dislike me, but I am still me, nothing gonna changes. Unless, I've decided that I shall be the one that get hurt for everything.

2011-09-19T01:07:00.000+08:00

First, you tell me this. Then, you tell me that. Now, I don't believe anything at all. Sorry, nothing at all.

I'm gonna live on my own, stand on my own feet, depend on myself. Because I know if I too rely on someone, one day, I'll fall badly. And, that's what happened now. Really feel like drinking now, because emotions just can't controlled. I know that all these problems are just some obstacles and downs in life, will definitely pull through it. I know I will.

Drink tmr then.

2011-09-16T01:17:00.000+08:00

Chalet with Jiale and his friends for the past two days, was fun and happening. Had it 'cause it was complimentary for my sip! ;)

First night we went prawning and fishing at hai bin punggol. I didn't catch any prawns and all was caught by him. Then, he went to try fishing and he caught two freaking big fishes. I swear it was damn sad and disgusting when we put the dead fishes on the bathroom and washed them.

Second night, had our bbq, and main course was the fish that we caught. Thanks nihon for helping me to cut the fish! Went to fishing again but totally no luck at all, ultimate tired by then.

Two nights chalet just ended like this, was really fast and no matter what, it still created memories for all of us. And, I cherished the time I spend with him, really.

Went home and meet the poly cliques to celebrate Chuanhui's birthday at city hall.

Dine at The Pizza Place and I swear, the baked rice was god damn awful! I finished half and I threw it away. Never had such awful food before, damn! There goes my hard-earned money. Bloody hell.

Alright, having lots of problems recently. I know I need to learn to think properly what I really want.

I'm sorry, my love ones.

Thanks for everythin'

2011-09-12T23:34:00.000+08:00

Thanks for it all, really thanks. Though you hurt me times and again, you show me that you really love me. Thanks, for everything that you have sacrifice for me. I don't know if it worth it all, but still, I appreciate it. I don't know whatever I do now is a right thing, but guess it's all fate?

Dad and mom went malaysia during the weekend so I went out to stay overnight. Thanks Chuanhui for accompanying me throughout the confused and upset night and Weiting for allowing us to slack at her house on sat! I'll never forget the night when we drink and eat 20 pieces nuggets in the middle of the...morning 4am. Had lots of laughers and fun with the girls, really love it all! Girls are girls afterall. Muackz! ;)

Gonna be in chalet again for the next two days with Jiale, Daryl & Songjie and it's going 12mn now and I've yet to pack my bag. Alright, hope it's gna be a good day ahead! Love everyone!

2011-09-08T01:55:00.000+08:00

I want you to know that it doesn't matter. Suddenly damn in love with already gone by kelly clarkson.
Perfect doesn't keep the love alive.

Working lunch tmr and dinner with sec school peeps. Night blog.

T.G.I.T

2011-09-07T03:17:00.000+08:00

Thanks god it's tuesday.

My plan is always screwed up. Set my alarm at 10.45am so that I have enough time to go bank to upgrade my debit card but, I actually off the alarm and slept back. So, yeah, I was late in meeting the girls again! Hehehehehehe.

Slacked and kena persuaded to go Jas's house to slack and dinner wasn't bad! :) Back home before 1am, safe! Mom and dad going m'sia on fri, gonna convinced her to let me stay outside. Hehehehe, drink!

Say hello to goodbye

2011-09-05T21:33:00.000+08:00

How come time seems to pass so fast? How come time just couldn't stop for a little well when it's happy time and it seems like stopped when you are feeling really sad. Well, life's just so weird.

I always dragged myself off the bed when it comes to work. I always rushed like dog when I going to work. It's always and always. Work was still alright today, still manageable and not really happy because of the new ass manager. But never mind, jeff is quite good enough and crap with us. Cried when text with baby because I felt really guilty when I realised I don't dare to go wild wild wet and played because I hum. I'm really so sorry baby. I will think of more activities to cover up for the losses of the wild wild wet. :/ But actually I think the travelling time to prawning will be more than enough.

Accompanying stupid yihui to study but he keeps using phone (like now), and not studying! Hahahaha, okay. I just went to shit, and I feel so comfortable now. Okay, can't wait for the chalet and all the activities that I'm gonna plan. ;)

2011-09-05T01:14:00.000+08:00

My heart's a stereo, it beats for you so listen close. Make me your radio, turn me on when you feel low. So, sing along to my stereo.

Baby was really damn nice today because despite feeling so hungry, he still gave in to me and accompanied me all the way to nex for men men don don 'cause of my craving. Hehehehe. ♥ He's probably the best boyfriend on earth, excluding when his stupid attitude and stubbornness on action again, he counted one of the few best on earth.

Back to his home and first thing was....sleep. No idea why both of us always sleep, sleep, nothing but sleep when reach his house. Wanted to watch final destination 5 'cause he alr downloaded it but, failed to watch. Don't really dare to watch alone but gonna try downloading now. Leg aching for idk what reason. Baby helped me massage my small thigh but I keep laughing, way too itchy. I guess I can never go for foot therapy. It's really freaking pain now, so as my throat. Damn! :(

Happy moment spend

2011-09-04T02:18:00.000+08:00

Finally, thanks god, we have a proper outing but wasn't really well-planned. Nevermind, the most important is to be happy with each other around. I feel the warmth and love from him so much today, hahahaha! Though it was kind of screwed before we met, had a little quarrels, was unhappy with each other but we were back to normal once we met up.

Went singing at chai chee and wasn't awkward at all. He kept laughing at my pronounciation for english words, and laugh at my way of singing songs like, "price tag, need you now, love story and nothing gonna change my love for you". That heartless boyfriend of mine.

Went to bedok point and couldn't make up a decision for dinner. So, we walked back and forth at bedok area. Bumped into sze ching, scared the freaking hell out of me. Was taking photos with the hello kitty but he just kept standing there looking at me, got so pissed somehow. So I gave him that what-you-want face and I ciao off.

Settled our dinner at banquet, freaking ex and awful. :(

Went over to anna's house since she was baking pop cakes for her sis, and dropped by to chit chat talk cock and slack. Ciao off after that. Gonna meet baby again tmr! Love him! *heart for him!*

2011-09-02T23:46:00.000+08:00

Hello September and goodbye August!

I believe Aug must be quite a sucky month for most of us, though it doesn't turn out that sucky as June or July but yah, it's still sucks! :[ I am running out of money again, and again. I don't know what the hell did I exactly spent on, but yah, bank just doesn't leave any money.

Was feelin' so uncomfortable last night but kept on quarrelling with him. Sometimes, both of us are just too strong-headed that no one wanna step back and give in at all. Yes, it's all 'bout the pride but most importantly is, both of us have our own perception that ended up, quarreling. That's the first thing that happened in Sep that made me felt so shit. Next, will be working. Supposed to work at 1pm today but I overslept 'cause I felt real tired. Reached workplace and saw a new assistant manager. She looks like a fucked up person. A said that she keeps looking at us when we are working or talking. Hello, we are human beings. It isn't that we work, we can't talk. And most importantly is, we talked when there isn't any customers. Well done, now you are aiming me. Asked us to do housekeeping since we are so free, then I need to clean the shelves, the fridge, and even sweeping floor that should be done by the dishwasher. I feel so suffocated working there now with all the new managers and management. I know that's working life, but yah, I still prefer the past, with the good boss around.

Joke today. Usually the old boss treated us drinks, he will lets us get any drinks we want, like cupwalker or etc but this new ass manager said, "I treat you guys drink but no other drinks, only 100+". Lame shit, are you the promoter of that drink? I just dislike you now, you keep giving that fucked up look, never even smile to us at all. You are lacking of handling relationship with the employee, ya'knw?

Another joke today. Met Jiale and we went all the way to Farrer Park just for the kopitiam and we went all the way back home. Worst still, the chap cai bheng sibei ex. What a trip. :/ Bought gongcha and suddenly thought that 201 has pasar malam, so bus there and wtf, not even a stall selling sausage or drinks. Our night is screwed and pathetic like shitz. On the happier note, gonna go singing with him tmr at bedok chai chee cc for three hours. At least we can stop thinking of what to do again like usual. ;)

Alright, gonna bathe now, feeling itchy all over my body. Gosh man!
Praying very hard that the rest of the sep will be fun, like seriously and hello friends, OCTOBER IS COMING SOON AND IT MEANS, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! Though I don't really look forward at all because it seems like nothing special.

2011-08-31T23:53:00.000+08:00

I see my tummy popping out. I see fats everywhere around me. I see the future me.

Never leave the house today, and I thought that I will control my diet but I was wrong. I searched high and low for food. Ice cream, drumlets, rockmelon, pizza, and again and again. I feel the fats accumulating in my stomach! :(

Pissed off cause my tap tap still cant win baby.

Get it right

2011-08-31T01:37:00.000+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya, peekpos. ;}

Went out with baby and we really don't know where to go, so I came up with this idea of going chinatown to feel the atmosphere for mooncake fest!

Love him lots! :]

2011-08-30T02:53:00.000+08:00

It seems like I haven't been having a good date with baby recently. Hopefully we will spend a great day out tmr, though it's gonna be real crowded but yeah, gonna enjoy the time together. Lots of things happened lately that caused unhappiness to so many people but glad that things are getting better now.

Hey guys, I've finally renewed my passport. Kinda feel what the hell 'cause my formal pic can't be used, end up I need to take a new pic and it looks so ugly. Hope I can go and have fun over at malaysia or batam or wherever with my loved ones soon! :] Been catching the mooncake drama lately and I sleep almost 5am everyday. Totally like a geek now.

Okay, back to my drama! :]

Laugh till voice-less.

2011-08-29T03:49:00.000+08:00

Weiting called me and asked me wake up straight away, then I know yay, Jaslyn coming to fetch me! She makes me so wanna learn driving straightaway now! :]

We settled our lunch cum high tea at Junction 8 Ramen play. Then off to Jaslyn's house and mess her room up!

Love the girls damn lot and hope to have such fun again! *hugs*

Reunion

2011-08-28T03:19:00.000+08:00

Finally meet up with the girls after real long, especially Weiting. Shopped around, walked around, gossip around, eating all around! ;)

Then, I diarrhea till I reached home. :(

2011-08-27T02:31:00.000+08:00

Like ages since I've last self-taken a photo. I guess I'm too old to be like those small ah lianz that always take photos of themselves.

I don't understand why I'm so tired today, but it's so freaking tired. :( Baby going KL tmr, hope he gonna be real safe there.

Last Friday Night

2011-08-25T02:57:00.000+08:00

Happy 8 months, baby.

The journey is indeed tough and we are still struggling to walk it through.

It's really simple

2011-08-24T02:47:00.000+08:00

Happy advanced 19th birthday to Thaijin.

And, happy 26th birthday to June.

Hehehe, I know I'm forever late queen. :] Supposed to meet Chuanhui at bugis but I was way too late so met her and have lunch at nihon.

Celebrated thaijin's birthday at ajisen, she's damn good at eating. Marble slab and photos takin' at rooftop and home!

Thank-you

2011-08-23T03:43:00.000+08:00

As usual, I rushed for work again and luckily, I ain't late. I hope nihon will always like today, not busy at all.

SHOPPING WITH CHUANHUI AFTER WORK! Yes, after five freaking months! :D

Walked around and chatted with her, feel so happy. Listened to her story at mauritius, was so amazing and funny. Gonna meet her tmr again! ;)

2011-08-21T02:31:00.000+08:00

This isn't good at all, and I swear it all over again.

Thanks baby for accompanying to ikea and court last night and stayed overnight helping me fix the damn table! Totally love my small corner in my room.

Went to fetch Chuanhui back from mauritius this morning, love her much! Freaking happy that she's back here safely. Slacked & listened to her story till I went off to meet baby. Was so freaking tired that I fell asleep straight when I lied on his bed.

Was shyrene's bday and I'll never forget how he wants me to clean up those shelves, just because we were busy talking and he gotta get the fact right that I was actually wiping the bloody damn table. Freak, everyone is like havin' their mood swing and get their fucked up attitude towards me.

Gotta get our groupon and enjoy our food at bakerzin! ;)

Hayware

2011-08-19T01:20:00.000+08:00

It went hayware.

I was so lost, at the point of time. I was waiting and waiting, and waiting. I thought I was brave to say it out, but I don't have the chance to. This song really suits me the most now. There are really so many things happening that I don't know what to do. I really don't know how I feel now.

I'm sorry, I can't handle things well.

The moment

2011-08-18T02:32:00.000+08:00

Life is like music. Sometimes, it can be really sentimental. Sometimes, it can be really high. But sometimes, it can be really heart-breaking. This is life.

Sometimes, you just reach the lowest point of time that you feel like giving up. Now, everything is screwed.

Teenage Dream

2011-08-17T02:25:00.000+08:00

This is so teenage dream.

Happy 21st birthday to Denise, my pretty cousin.

And without they notice, I 'grabbed' their vodka raspberry to drink. I've no idea that it belongs to whose, but I just drank it.

And you can see the difference.

Working hard to build back this relationship, which meant to be happy.

Sending off baby's friends at airport and happened to see Desmond and Thyewhye.

Finally rushed through my sip report and gonna head back to school alone to print and submit the report, totally like a pathetic kid. And can't wait for my annoying naggy Chuanhui to come back from mauritius on sat!

Love is like music.

Left or right?

2011-08-12T01:26:00.000+08:00

Muscle aching like mad now, especially both of my lower thighs. Max tired after working full shift today, but closing was good when there are only Trisha and me.

Chatted with Shyrene and Fei 'bout my previous rls, and felt so uneasy. I believe my hatred for him has diminished. Gonna celebrate Jaslyn's bday tmr, ;) It's been real long since I met them for htht. Miss Chuanhui even more, didn't even see her for five months but she's back soon! ;) Hehehe.

Okay, don't have much interest in blogging alr.
Things change.

Next to you

2011-08-10T04:02:00.000+08:00

I hope all these will come to an end soon, real soon please. I'm suffocating, from all these argument. Both of us were really hurt tonight. I cried like fcuking hell and my heart felt like it had torn into two pieces. My mind went blank. Neither of us wanna let this relationship go and I'm swear we will hold it tight now, till one day, we know that we had tried our best and we can't go on any further.

Went to dye my hair over at his house and the colour isn't that obvious, but was definitely more obvious than the previous time. One day, I swear my hair gonna be dry like straw grass. Sooner or later.

Okay goodnight, working tmr.

2011-08-08T02:23:00.000+08:00

Ten more days to portfolio submission.

I think I need to do something about it.

The final lap of Internship!

2011-08-05T00:53:00.000+08:00

I can't believe that we have walked so far, and just one more semester, I'll be graduating from poly. Time passes really damn fast. Today marks the last day of my internship and we are supposed to do a presentation to CEO of NTUC as well as those big shots.

Basically, I was the first speaker and I swear I was nervous like shit. I remembered I saw someone gave me a very huge movement of "Jiayou" when I was about to start. I swear that it was very sweet, it gave me much confidence.

Then we were given certificate as well as a free 3d2n stay at chalet! K, it's definitely better than nothing. We can save the money down for sentosa tix!

And, it was really great working with Khuzaimah and Ben Woon. Been arguing with Benjamin for day and night.

So, congrats me for completing my sip! ;)

Unbearable

2011-08-02T00:45:00.000+08:00

Watched NDP preview with baby, Kenze and Eugenia on sat. The firework was awesome.

Stayed overnight outside with baby's friend for prawning till morning. Prawns are yummy!

Left four more days and it comes to the end of our internship, gonna earn more money after that. I really need to buy alot of clothes, oh man. And I can't wait for dim sum buffet soon! Lastly, I really hate to sit at Singapore River alone.

Grenade

2011-07-28T01:44:00.000+08:00

Easy come, easy go, that's just how you live, ohhhh ~
Take, take, take it all, but you never give.

This song just made me think of baby because he always sing this to me, no matter what.

Hate it when people promised but didn't fulfil, in fact, she put aeroplane on everybody. What a girl. She made me change my impression on her from now on. I have so many clothes wanna buy but I just don't have kaching kaching at all!

Yay, Kenze has tickets to the ndp rehearsal so yes, I'm going for the second time with them! :] I don't know why I am so excited 'bout this yr parade but yes, I'm singaporean! And baby bet on the soccer of singapore and malaysia. I don't understand why the odds for singapore is so freaking high. But well, I still support singapore.

Alright, working full shift tmr, gonna catch some drama and sleep! :]
GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!

The final lap

2011-07-27T02:44:00.001+08:00

I'm done drawing my interior design of my resorts for my sip project! Hope this gonna score us well, :]

Finally the last lap to our presentation and we will be officially done with our attachment! I'm so excited with the opening ceremony, teabreak, speech, presentation and last but not least, the appreciation ceremony. Better give us something meaningful, like cash incentives or free stay also good.

Desmond Lim and Trevor will be there for our presentation, sounds grand eh?

Little brown bear

2011-07-26T00:04:00.000+08:00

We have walked through seven months of this journey together. It's only till recently that we have been really sweet terms and didn't quarrel much and this is a good sign! :]

Here goes the monday blue again, though I don't have attachment now but I hate waking up early. Met lrm peeps in school to finalise our powerpoint slides and went to meet baby for dinner at bedok! :] We had chicken pot for our dinner, and it tastes really so-so. Bought my fav pink nail polish and I just finished applying. Sui lah!

And my leg kena sand bugs, bloody shit. :(

Happiness lies in your hand

2011-07-25T02:29:00.000+08:00

I always believe that happiness is always lies in your hand. You are the only one who can make thing better, with your own ability. I always told I weren't the most happy girl but if you try to see things in other way, you will know that you can actually be happy. K, full of nonsense. [: Just trying to step one chim and logical speaker.

Helped dad plucked his white hair, felt so accomplish. At least he can stop disturbing me for two weeks. ;] Went over his baby's gym to wait for him and we bought our food home. Both of us are kind of declaring bankrupt. Now, waiting for my attachment pay. Kns, they kept postponing their date, making me so cashless/netless now.

Watched teevee over at his house and dinner before we decided to go chinatown to walk around! :] Thanks baby for accompanying me there, after much persuasion by me. Chinatown makes me open my eye wide, with all the cheena stuffs over there. Felt disgusted by the duck food, with its whatever duck body parts, like tongue, neck, liver or whatever. But the strawberry&peace juice was great!

Shopped around the food market and night market before head home. Love him so much! :]
Happy seven months, baby! We have long way to go. Can't wait to go sentosa with you after we earned enough money, hehehehe!

Feast!

2011-07-24T01:31:00.000+08:00

Finally a proper date with baby after so long! ;)

Supposed to go singing but there wasn't any available room left so impromptu decision to catch wu xia with him. Had dinner buffet with baby, Kenze and Eugenia at nihon and some thing happened that totally spoilt our mood. :(

Don;t even know if it's a right decision to go there for dinner.

Life's better now

2011-07-23T00:40:00.000+08:00

Dragged myself off the bed to prepare for work, don't wanna lose $6 just because I can't wake up. It was pouring heavily till I was hestitating whether to wear slipper out. Worked w Royston and Andy. Was kind of pissed off w A just now. Yes, I know he's a captain now and he has the rights to exert his power but not all the time. I used my phone but when it wasn't busy at all. Whatever lah, and I talked to him, he ignored and walked off. How rude can it be? Fuck, make me look so dumb talking to you.

From then on, I told myself not to work so hard at nihon to crawl as high as possible to get the captain post because it's just nothing there, with all the ginna. I shall aim somewhere higher out there, and this just gonna be a part time job of mine to earn more money! Yes, that's the way!

Baby's so cute in this! ;)

Hope F1 will hire me since they are hiring baby. *prayhard, bobi bobi*

Dim sum at Geylang with baby's family, ;)

All by myself

2011-07-21T23:08:00.000+08:00

Suddenly damn curious about Charice, yes the one who sang Pyramid and Louder. She's freaking cool and powerful. Read through her biography and realised that she went through many sad memories and had domestic problem. And, she's only 19y/o!

K, couldn't wake up so went to work at 1pm. Working at nihon is really much better and happier than working at canele or anywhere! But hate it when A trying to exert his power on me, yes I know he's pt cap now, but can talk to me nicely. I know I just came back to work and really unfamiliar with everything, so please talk to me in a nicer tone. Goodness!

Hope tmr gonna turns out well, pls.

Everything and more

2011-07-21T00:21:00.000+08:00

Was extremely tired today despite me sleeping for eleven hours. Really cannot take it at all.
Had presentation to the resort managers and always late. Baby was so funny and generous for forgiving me, despite waiting for real long! Love him much.

If only life is always so great like now.

On the edge with you

2011-07-19T21:05:00.000+08:00

Been into Edge of Glory lately, the only song I like from Lady Gaga.

Again, felt so exhausted today. Worked 11am and did the opening. I can't click well with the new staffs at all, or maybe Nihon will just be a place for me to work and work only. I can't be possibly clicking very well with those 15, 16y/o xmm.

Second last presentation tmr and gonna meet baby for dinner. Working 12pm on thurs, god! :(

Leg's so pain

2011-07-19T00:48:00.000+08:00

First day back to nihon and worked full shift. Was exhausted like mad, especially closing. Was totally shag and I took so much effort to mop the floor. Felt so comfortable working there 'cause like everything flashed back, but definitely not about my past relationship. Aunty asked me if how's me and Zuanzhe, gosh, that was like years ago issue. Now, I have Jiale, and I believe he's better than him.

I had made a fool of myself during work, everyone laughed like mad.
Alright, shall think that I am cute instead. Hehehehe!

Amazing moment with you

2011-07-18T00:19:00.000+08:00

Impromptu lunch with Shirlene and Kenze after classroom session. Supposed to have dinner w more people but glad that the someone didn't come. If not, I guess it's gotta be a miserable lunch for me. Not trying to be cruel or what, but you started all these nonsense first.

Lunch at Din Tai Feng then went shopping with 'em at Orchard. Vans has hello kitty version now! Totally love it lots, but I don't wear such shoes that often, so kind of wasted. Shawn then joined us. Went off to meet bb at station and headed to his house to rest and put his stuffs.

Rest till six plus and I supposed to meet the girls for dinner but was cancelled last minute. So, joined bb, Daryl and Songjie to celebrate Songjie's birthday. Dinner at mahanttan fish market, was my first time dining there. K, don't taste good at all. Agree with bb, long john silver is even better. Dessert at Cold Stone Creamery then bb suddenly suggested to go play gmax.

And they really went. I salute them, guys.

Went home and baby slacked at my house till 3am then cab back. Feeling much guilty.

Met baby this afternoon and he said he wanna cook lunch for me so we went to buy those ingredient before going his house.

He cooked spanish food for me! Hehehehe. & Daryl commented the photos that he could not believe his eyes.

Though the bow tie pasta was tasteless but I felt really touched that he suddenly wanna cook for me. But the bacon wrap prawns was yummy!

Slacked at his house and I fell asleep right after dinner, was really tired these few days.

Baby sent me back home from amk, really very touched. Cause I said I had headache, god. I feel even more guilty now. Thanks baby! Though we always quarreled and said things that hurt each other, but you know and I know that we don't mean it at all and we still love each other alot. Gotta not meeting you that often since you have your competition coming, will definitely go support you during your fight. Love you baby.

You're not sorry.

2011-07-15T23:22:00.000+08:00

All this time I was wasting hoping you would come around,
I've been giving out chances every time and all you do is to let me down.
And it's taking me this long baby but I figured you out,
and you're thinking we'll be fine again but not this time round.

Could've loved you with all my love, if you hadn't left me waiting in the cold.

.

Presentation to the company big shot isn't an easy task.
My heart gonna drop out anytime soon.
Guess what? I'm back to action in Nihon.

2011-07-14T23:42:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I keep thinking what I want in life. If I can, I wish to turn back the time when I was a baby. I can cry everyday, but I don't feel ache in my heart. I can laugh everyday, don't have to worry about other thing after I finish laughing. I can crawl to anywhere I want. I can do anything I want, and not feeling stressed. I don't have to think about studies, work, relationship, friendship and family. Because everyone will protects me.

I wanna be a baby.

Awkward night

2011-07-14T00:12:00.000+08:00

Woke up to make sandwich for bb and he stupidly doesn't seem to be appreciate. Sigh! Met up with Shirlene in the afternoon and pass baby the sandwiches and fruits. Walked to Clarke Quay under the hot sun, like wanna burn my skin.

Shoppped aimlessly, caught my eyes for a flora dress but don't know whether I should buy it, then without realising, I had slowly walked to Ion.

Walked around forever 21, want something but no ability to get it. Met Lihui at Dhoby and waited for baby to come. Then, the awkward dinner started. Everyone brought their partners there and I only clicked with Eugenia. ;) Rochor beancurb after that and cab home w/ them! ;)
I don't understand why whenever waiting for bus with baby, it always come so fast. But when I wait alone, the bus comes freaking slow.

Project meeting w/ Khuzaimah and Ben tmr, then the review presentation on Fri. :(

2011-07-13T01:32:00.000+08:00

Life's like that.

What's about life?

2011-07-12T14:52:00.000+08:00

I feel like I'm a bastard, because I disappoint the staff at cosway. I wasn't happy at all. I just wanted to try some different job and see what I really want and like in life.

Finished job and I went home to take a rest while made a sandwich for baby.

He was having his training for his upcoming competition. I sat all alone along the Singapore river, reflecting on myself and thinking what I actually want in life. I really have no idea what I want in life and all I know is to live my life a day pass a day. I feel the changes in everything in life, relationship, family, and everything. Everything isn't going on smoothly at all.

Bb injured his leg and he lazy to send me back home and go home so he stayed over at my house.

I think one day I need to go temple and think what I really want in life.

Disappointment

2011-07-11T00:18:00.000+08:00

Actually I like this photo alot because the angle just nice. Thanks Thaijin! ;)

And this photo was beautifully taken! Look like chun gu, bodoh.

Thanks Thaijin accompanied me to the ndp preview! ;) Love you load, baby!

Tonight was the real bad night I ever had, really the worst. Heart ache like fucking mad.

Baby, you're the firework

2011-07-10T00:47:00.000+08:00

I found a part time and it all happened too fast. I was on my way to the restroom and passed by a healthcare shop and they are looking for retail assistant. So, I stopped and walked in to ask and they were so flexible with my schedule and yah, I've found a job. Mom said it's not really a good shop but hope I won't get cheated.

Lunch with mom and she headed back home while I went to meet bb for awhile since I have nowhere to go. Walked around Raffles aimlessly, till Thaijin came and bb went off. I thought this year ndp was same as last year, held at Padang, that's why I asked Thaijin to meet at Raffles. Both of us stupidly walked to float from Raffles, following all the primary five kids.

The introduction was quite good, much better than last year! ;) Musical.

The songs, without the kopi-o-o-o, was better now. I didn't fall asleep at all and everything was perfect. The firework lit up the night sky and the buildings were all lighted up. Everything was really really damn beautiful.

Thaijin and I sang along the national anthem and said the pledge. I really love the firework and tonight! Perfect!

Hope everyday there's firework lit up the sky and to make my mood happier.

2011-07-08T00:06:00.000+08:00

A serious fight for the past few days. It tore me down and drinking was the only option for me then. Decided to meet up for lunch and talk yesterday to settle things and yeap, glad we talked it through. Last night was really happy, like a great date back again. Knowing that it's impossible to meet up that often alr so I must control of my ownself and not being like a superglue and stick to him always.

Yah, not gna do that.
15 jul will be our sip review presentation, currently finding pt job to spend my off-days fruitfully. Finally quit Canele 'cause I have a screwed and fucked up manager that replied, "good" when I said I'm gna quit. Glad that I don't have to work w him anymore, bless!

Thanks Hongjun for this sat ndp preview! ;)
Gna watch it w Thaijin and she said she's gna bring binocular there. And I told bb, "Bb, Thaijin said she's gna bring b-no-cu-le leh". Shit, screwed. Getting more and more worried for my presentation on 27 jul. Hope this yr goodie bag will be nice!

Sober like I'll never do

2011-07-06T03:57:00.000+08:00

This is gonna be the worst screwed day I ever had in life, trust me.

It's a matter of letting go or forgiveness. But, I've already predict the outcome. Well, I know it will back to normal soon. Yongji chatted with me right now at 4.03am and he asked me how's life. I replied, " life sucks, like mf." That's how I answered him.

Devastated? Yes, of course!

Being so restless after the shittest job at Canele and searching for a new part time job for the whole afternoon. During all the different interview, all I thought was him, his schedule, accommodating him so I can meet him. Nah, all rejected me. Many things happened coincidentally. Helpless is all I felt right now.

Tell me that everything's gna be okay.

Burnin' like fire

2011-07-05T01:47:00.000+08:00

Have a better cool mind now. Wasn't in the good temper and mood for the past few days and I guess everything is settled and I'm back to normal. Sorry friends if you guys were like shocked that I've been like real emotion lately. It's just that it was my lowest point in my life and now, it's back to up again! ;)

Slept till 2 plus in the afternoon and wanted to find jobs at recruit express but gave it a miss. Met Rachel for dinner at Old malaya cafe and bumped into Chengwei. He got real shocked and bet he's feeling guilty like mad now. Then, off to meet bb at Bedok for his dinner. I still couldn't forget last night incident. And I'm so gonna make a cupcake like this for him one day.

Canele tmr! ;) Shall ask if they need people on Friday!

AND ANYONE CAN TELL ME WHEN'S THE NEXT COTTON ON MASS RECRUITMENT? ;)

Sing along to my stereo

2011-07-04T02:48:00.000+08:00

# Stereo hearts - Gym Class Heroes

Hiding in my room, wiping my tears nonstop, realised that it isn't the first night that I've been doing this. I cried so much that I don't even realised how many nights I've been doing that. I am tired of doing that already. But I believe I will be back to normal soon. Wait for me.

I'm a cry baby

2011-07-03T01:59:00.000+08:00

One week. I hope I don't say it because I feel hurt but is really want to think it properly. I can't think what to do for this one week. All I can do is to cry, to drink and to think. Feeling so heavy-hearted and sad when I know that someone dislike me so much out of nowhere. Feel like I'm a lousy person.

So many times I wanna disappear suddenly, so many times I wanna hurt myself to forget the pain I had. So many times, I've been crying under my blanket, telling myself to be strong. So many times, I wanted to give up but I held back. So many times, I lost control and vent my anger on him. So many times, I don't know what I am doing but feeling really screwed. Is there anything that can numb your pain for very very very long? Tell me what to do, :(

Who can I turn to?

2011-07-02T02:31:00.000+08:00

休息是为了走更长的路，你就是我的旅途。
好的事情最后虽然结束，感动十分就有十分满足。

Been ups and downs recently, been hiding under the blanket and wiping my tears when I sleep. Don't ask me what's goes wrong because I don't even know what exactly went wrong. I wanna be your priority, not back-up. I know it's impossible, I know it all. All the small things show us that we aren't suitable but we are trying to make it through.

Will we succeed?

心痛比快乐更真实

2011-07-01T03:14:00.000+08:00

A good good night and a sucky time.

Love this polaroid damn much.

Jiale came over to my house to stay last night

Thanks Shirlene for accompanying me to go all the way to Marina Square to see Romeo Tan and was damn glad that at least we took photo. I swear my heart beat like crazie. I still couldn't believe this!

Had a great time laughing with Shirlene and she actually took me to take wrong train. Lol.

Nausea day

2011-06-28T22:00:00.000+08:00

I think my gastric is screwed, been wanna vomit easily when I don't have constant meal taken. My stomach really hurt much now, feeling so nausea. This feeling really sucks. Sigh, :(

Woke up early for work at Canele, so glad that wasn't working with the manager that I dislike. Went over to meet mom for lunch before I rushed to school to do project with Benjamin and Khuzaimah. Oh yah, nearly forget to do ejournal. Screw this thing! K, I think I ain't in the mood to do anything right now.

Goodnight everyone.

Taking a little step

2011-06-27T02:05:00.000+08:00

It's Sunday!

Went to find bb at his gym place at Clarke Quay before went to meet Yihui and Joyce to celebrate Yihui's birthday. Watched him train his muay thai, and the mat was so dirty.

Bb perspired like water tap.

And I think this is the best pic of all, (Y)

Plan kind of screwed and fail because I brought them round and round and don't know what to eat. Ended up we settled at MOF and it was my first time eating that.

The ramen totally doesn't taste good at all and it costs me a bomb. Gonna eat maggie mee for lunch for these few days and try to have one meal. I think I'll use my Canele pay for sentosa day with bb.

The mango cake was screwed! Hahaha. Hope Yihui will like the wallet and the gay photoframe.

Haha, love the time when we went arcade and had dessert at Bugis beach road area. Saw quite a few actors and they aren't friendly at all. Wonder if Romeo Tan will be like that too not?

Haha, I upload the video that bb constantly kicking the punchbag w/o his permission.

Alright I think I am lame to watch "Let's Play Love". I think the drama is meaningless and ain't nice at all. What's wrong with me? I should be sleeping instead! Okay, goodnight!

183 days of love

2011-06-26T02:00:00.000+08:00

Yes! This week's gonna spend it well and fruitfully! ;) Though kind of screwed when my new manager called me to work more next week.

Thanks god that Jianwei was online last night and I approached him for help for the converting of wmv to mp3. It took me hours to download that and ended up, failed. Been together with bb for six months already, though it isn't long but we feel as though we are together for years. Never once that we can stop quarreling for a week or so. But glad is that our relationship is still remaining the same.

Had lunch over at Astons then went back home. Dessert time at Scoopz at Upper Thomson and everything, everything over there was sweet. We still have $10 vouchers at Scoopz. But there are many choices of the ice cream so it ain't that bad.

Bb meeting Daryl and Songjie for midnight movie so I accompanied 'em for awhile and I ciao home. Gonna celebrate Yihui's belated b'day tmr and hope everything goes on smoothly. ;)

California king bed

2011-06-25T02:02:00.000+08:00

Hate it when I have to drag myself off the bed, for work. This is gonna be my first and last time enjoy working at Canele, with many reasons revolving.

Life is really amazing at times, sometimes it goes up and sometimes it goes real down. Love, is really amazing at times too. I can love you so badly today but I can totally ignore you the next day. Love has no guarantee at all. It comes and it goes. No one wishes to get hurt, no one. After the sunrise, everything will be back to normal.

Happy six months, bb. Six months isn't that long but our quarrels were so much to compare with couples together for two years. Whatever it is, I still love you.

Part and parcel

2011-06-23T00:48:00.000+08:00

Another "off" day for me again. I think I really made up my mind and wanna quit Canele sooner or later. I ain't happy working here at all! Never did I ever put on a smile from the bottom of my heart when I work here. The new manager was not to my liking, k sounds weird but yah, not at all. He told me to work faster whereby I was alr perspiring like mad and putting all my efforts to work fast. Hello, I have to walk in and out to serve those demanding, real demanding guest.

There was a regular fcuked up bitch came, again. She was real fcuked up that she said I was lousy because I'm new. What the fuck, just because I ain't a old staff. Then, she demanded to switch off the fan outside. As though the whole restaurant is yours. Other guests outside were like complaining 'bout the hot weather and you were being so selfish down there. K, maybe you think you're rich coz you carry a miu miu bag so you think you can give the fucked up look. Well, I guess there's no guys can tolerate your attitude. Even so, they might not be sincere. Sigh, you screwed my day up.

Went to meet bb after work and last mins decided to go home and wash up. He searched my room for his six months gift while I was bathing and I thought he won't be able to find it coz I put it inside my wardrobe but surprisingly, he found it. ;)

He watched Laddaland with me despite not to his liking. Really felt so appreciated. Though my day didn't start off nicely and happily, but bb made me laughed throughout the day. Thanks bb. ;)

#800 Post

2011-06-21T22:29:00.000+08:00

I didn't mean to throw a tantrum at all, but things aren't going well and feeling kind of shit. It seems like this is slowly drifting because my attitude are making you frustrated. This isn't gonna solve anything, right?

Many things been running through my mind but no one I can turn to or share with. Keeping and keeping all the bad stuffs to myself and having a bad time controlling the tears. I need one who can just simply quietly stand by me and just the presence will make me happy. Just one, I'm not demanding for more. Never did it fulfil.

2011-06-21T03:09:00.000+08:00

A sudden change again.

Supposed to meet baby tmr for picnic but again, it has to be cancelled 'coz he remembered wrong schedule. Project discussion was being postponed till tmr. I don't know what's wrong with me but haven't been in good appetite these few days. Ate a plate of beehoon and a cup of small milk tea, I was very full till night.

Last minnute change and met baby for movie and dinner. Was stuck in between Laddaland or Hangover Part II but chose HOP2. K, shall get ready for bed and working tmr.

And been missing my girls badly. Haven't been talking to them for ages, ain't kidding, it's ages. I miss you, Jaslyn, Chuanhui and Thaijin! Did talked to Thaijin online for past few days but totally lost contact with the other two. K I can guarantee that we four girls will definitely meet up and gossip alot after our attachment. Miss you girls! You all aren't forgotten!

Nothing we cant get through

2011-06-18T22:29:00.000+08:00

Finally, like finally we're done with our surveys.

Went shopping with Yihui and Joyce but we didn't take any photos! Ain't supposed to buy anything because I'm broke and don't wanna anyhow spend my money but ended up, I'm the one who bought the most things. What's this?

After that, went to UOB Plaza to wait for baby to end work and accompanied him for supper. Asked parents if he can stay over and they agreed!

And he fell asleep after 30sec of saying goodnight.

Most eerie thing is we both dream of the same thing, what the?

SIAN OF THE DAY!
Tmr need to work at Canele. Okay, this shows I'm really dislike this job.

And baby, I know you will definitely read my blog! So, wanna tell you that tmr accompany me to Bugis to collect my iphone cover and Taka to buy bag can? ^^ p.l.e.a.s.e.