Shall have to quick post before I head to bed. :)

Jasmine went back to Australia for studies already, and thanks god I did managed to find the time to send her off. Somehow, seeing her mom tears made me wanna tears too but luckily my tears didn't flow down. Now, it will be one less girl in our clique when we meet up for birthday celebration or any events. Will really miss you, girl. 

And this crazy girl will never fail to hit me once when we meet. Have no idea why but we can't communicate in a peaceful manner, haha.

And not to forget my fav girl that always be by my side and thanks for knowing what I want at times and protecting me! :')

Met up with Regynna in the morning since she wanted to photocopy my law book for revision and wow, didn't expect the cost to be so freaking ex. So I headed down to tmart mac to revise myself and it was damn effective this time round! *pat on my shoulder* Received Yihui's message of meeting up for dinner and I agreed. So as usual, I got to wait for this fella again. 

Thanks god we went to have our dinner at eighteen chef 'cause it's gonna close down today. Hehe, as usual, it tastes yumyumz! :) And I guess it's been really long since I've meet him and Joyce. All because this fella has a girlfriend and started to neglect us, haha just kiddingz, my lovely bro. I still love you and yiqing, and definitely have my blessing!

Rushed home after that dinner to revise on my marketing law exam on sat. It was pretty cool that it was held at holiday inn and it looks so grand. The atmosphere was wow wow wow. Went to meet mom after exam to visit grandma at hospital, but what hurts us most is that, she asked us don't have to come and visit her anymore. Alright, I know there isn't any love between us at all. But what you said to dad was extremely hurtful too. Sigh.

So...we finally meet up together (thou' not all here) before Zhiyu sails off to Shanghai! I totally miss the time we spent during poly. I mean, you guys are the only friends that I've been hanging out with and be there for me all the time. 

And I'll never never never fail to stop laughing whenever I'm with this girl. We can laugh so much that we don't really care our image at all. And we also love to imitate cheena, despite knowing that they are just behind us. Not to forget, the one that taught us there are 12 valentine days in a year, the first kissed date and the monthly monthsary. 

And my bro here, please be safe when you're away on sea. We'll meet up soon when you're back! :)

And here's my lovely poly girls! :)

And Jason, you really gotta stop arguing with me all the time, or in fact, everytime we meet. Haha, and why can't you treat us girls as girls? 

Now I'm having dilemma whether to go cn blue concert with my lovely girl not. It's really a hard decision here. Well, I guess Thaijin is my only girl friend that will chat nonsense with me all day long and laugh so much like we have no image at all. I guess she's really happy to have such a nice friend like me, that willing to sing song with her. Well, still wanna tell you that me love euuz so muchhiez worrzxz! ;) *winkz*

Alright, so met up with xiangrui this afternoon, before I head to school. Yay, he was so nice to travel down to tampines despite staying at cck and he accompanied me to have dimsum at 126 to fulfill my craving! ;) I'm such a happy kid here. Thanks god we managed to bus to serangoon before it rains heavily. Alright, it's kind of a short meet up but glad that everything was great! And hehe, most likely gonna catch horror movie w/ him this thurs. But I guess I'll be having a hard time sleeping after that though? 

Okay, shall head to bed now and gonna wake up in 4 hours time. Luckily I'm working with fongtai at recep so it's still not that boring. :) Nights all, and goodnight wo de xiao thaijin. Wo zhen de hen xiang qu kan cn blue de yan chang hui ne. 

It's been so long that I've the time and patience to come to this site and blog again. Always wanted to blog while working but couldn't find any time to take a rest at all. Work was tiring, so as studies. But first of all, shall y'all happy chinese new year here! :)

Alright, to side track abit, I just found my fav song that I've been listening on 91.3 lately, it's Tyler James - Worry about you! It's really nice, guys! Go and listen when you have the time yeah. 

Okay so back to the topic here. I'm so damn happy that grandpa has already discharged from hospital, though it's not that good condition now 'cause he doesn't really remember what he had said or what had really happened earlier on, but I'm glad he still remembers us. Perhaps, that's the main thing now already. Also, he doesn't have to sit on the wheelchair already, so I guess everything is fine now. 

He still looks so cheerful, I really love him. Not to forget how he offered to come to Tampines to take care of me, despite that his house is at Holland V. So, he decided to stay over at my house to take care of me when I was young. This made us close and this is why I really love him and stick to him more. He always treats me like some little princess and showers me with his love and care. He will always made milo for me whenever I said I want. 

Not to forget my beautiful grandma here, she's easily jealous but that's her cute side. :) She loves me so much that she always hugs me when she see me. Probably that's the attractive part of me, hehehe. 

On the second day of cny, I decided to accompany dad for the whole day to visit relatives. But I swear I end up regretting, cause it was damn boring. 

Love it most when I go visiting with my fav girls at the second night. But the fact that I lose money is quite sad.

So I couldn't remember what event was that, but we met up for dinner and settled down at kenny roger. It was my first time trying that and the pork rib wasn't that bad. Would probably go down again for the second time. :) 

Okay, here I am, lazy to blog again so that's all. Shall blog when I have the time and patience. Patience kind of running out now. 

Two more freaking days to chinese new year and I can't wait for it! Not because of the celebration but because I can finally have a good rest before I start working again. Was so last minute in getting my cny clothes and managed to get in ytd! 

Went to hospital to fetch grandpa home since he can discharge, like finally. Alright, not really can discharge due to that ass hospital mistake but we gotta bear the consequences here. Well all I can say is that the doctors nowadays really sucks max. 

And I know my grandma isn't feeling that happy these few days but I hope that she will cheer up now. :')

Went off to meet my favourite funny friend, xiao jin jie for some last minutues shopping at bugis! Managed to get bag, top and skirt. Had so much fun with her laughing around and she's totally damn funny plz.

Walked pass holland/ghim moh and miss that place so much. I used to stay there and now, it becomes such a quiet and lifeless place, sigh. I miss how I go there to play when I was young.

Aye, I'm lazy to blog already. Okay stop here.

It's been really a busy week for me. Just so many things happened lately, that I don't have any time to rest at all. Celebrated Jueying's 22nd on last friday at switch with the girls and hongwei. The switch gang and the singer was great, and I managed to dedicate wishes to Jueying over at the Switch! Felt so accomplished! ;)

One of the singer sang Leehom's song and it was really damn good that it left me strong impression of it. And I'm like trying to learn that song now, it's freaking nice! Had duck pizza and apple cider over there and the platter doesn't worth what it is, money gone.

And it was quite a while since I met Hongwei, and actually not really that long. Perhaps, last christmas only at Anna's place. As usual, I still felt disgusted with his tooth, that cool and amazing tooth.

Working was really kinda tiring now and I'm somehow sick of it already. I can no longer handle the customers well anymore, and I feel angsty easily, especially when they are totally ridiculous and demanding. There were times when I talked back and I couldn't bothered much. I can no longer practice and adhere to the service star practices. Or maybe with so much problems lately that led me to be so frustrated easily.

School has started for three weeks and here I am, not doing my assignment yet and totally not productive at all. Two more weeks to hand in my assignment and I haven't even revise a single shit yet. So much of telling myself to start revising and do my assignment on times. It was all rubbish. I totally couldn't find anytime to do my assignment at all and working at nea kinda seems to be not enjoyable anymore. :( But still, I was thankful that I managed to be in same class with these bunch of girls again! They are all older than me but we can click so well, :)

Grandpa admitted to hospital. From a minor problem that we thought it was, to a serious problem that required him to stay in hospital for weeks. I was totally shag out with the daily routine that I'm leading now. It's fucking tiring to handle work, school and family. I gotta go for work in the morning, then rushed down to hospital when I don't have lesson. I just want to accompany him more often as possible. Pushed him down to garden this afternoon and he told me about the past. He is the man that took care of me when I was young till I was in secondary school. Without his proper care, I wouldn't be leading such a healthy life now. My paternal grandma doesn't even want to take care of me when I was young. But grandpa doesn't mind sacrificing his time to travel from holland to come and take care of me. 

This is the love that no others can replace. And this is the reason why I ain't close with my paternal grandma at all. I don't even visit her except for chinese new year. I'm missing him so badly now, but I think I'll rest at home tomorrow. 

Nights all. 

Been more than a week since I've last blogged. School has started for a week already and tbh, ain't copping quite well. Good news is that I received my term 1 result and I actually passed my sustainable tourism, which I thought I'll definitely fail. Thanks god. :') 

Met up with my fav girls after so so long, met up at bugis for dinner before heading down to Junkai's 21st chalet. Was so bored so slacked around at the level 7 of bugis plus and played monopoly deal, totally like so xiaoahlianzxz. Settled dinner at Astons and we went for shopping at Watson! 

Sad that Jaslyn didn't join us, but still, I'm so happy to meet the other two fav girls! :)

To end off with this short post, I'm totally disappointed and upset with my hair colour. Totally sucks to the max, like some aunty trying to act hip colour, gosh. Moody like mad man. 

new year resolutions!

Hi all, this probably be the first post of the year 2013! :) Cheers to all.

After the long lengthy post on the last day of the year, I told myself that everything gonna start afresh. I went back home to rest for like 30mins before heading out to meet Jueying, Phanching and Huishan to lepak over at tamp and waited for the firework.

I swear the firework was superb, and freaking beautiful. It may not be as long as what mbs has put up but it's five minutes long and its as beautiful as what mbs had put up. Totally never regretted for heading down to tamp to celebrate my countdown instead of travelling all the way till town and squeeze with the crowd. The firework was really beautiful that I wish I can be in such beautiful scene for very long. Headed down to west mac to chill away before going home.

As usual, I spent my new year like how I spent my christmas, stay home holiday. I can feel that my mom seems to be a little more worried for me now, like why am I staying at home all day long. Alright, I'm here thinking with my new year resolution, this time its gonna be more realistic. 

Meiyan's new year resolutions! :)

1. Never ever skip breakfast (when I'm working), gonna start leading a healthy lifestyle! 

2. Do well for my uni and be serious in all modules and I'll be successfully graduate by 31 Dec 2013!

3. Drink more on plain water and less on sugar drink.

4. Save save save money, at least 50% of my salary will be banked in.

5. Think of a new place to go at least once a month, to make my life more meaningful! :)

6. Bring dad and mom to a nice restaurant at least once a month.

7. Pass btt and ftt first..before thinking about tp.

8. Exercise...at least once a month?

This is all I can think of now, but I think its not that bad and quite realistic. At least no longer like, I wanna lose weight 'cause in the end of the day, I'll still be the same. So what's the point of saying so much that I wanna lose weight.

Mom sent me meaningful quotes everyday, and sometimes I think it's kinda useful...to a certain extent. There is one quote that she sent to me, in chinese.

"Happiness isn't about how wealthy you are and how big your house is, but its about the laughter they had in the household. Happiness isn't about how attractive and good looking your other half is, but its about seeing your partner's beautiful great sincere smile. Happiness isn't about how happy you are upon your success, but its about when you are down, your friends will be by your side telling you, 'don't worry, happiness isn't about all the sweet talking but its when you are hurt, there's someone by your side telling you that he's there for you." 

Now I realized that, happiness is actually such a simple thing to fulfill but we always wanted the very best and always miss out the chance to be truly happy. Now, I just wanna grab all the chance to be happy, even if it's just a simple simple thing to make me smile.

Goodbye 2012.

It's raining cats and dogs now, raining so heavily on the last day of the year. Perhaps, it's a good sign? But here I am working on the last day of the year, and unable to have a good rest at home. Sitting at the recep area, facing the front door and looking at the heavy rain pouring down. How I wish I am home sleeping now, covering with my nice pink blanket, and hugging to my bolster.

Thaijin left me alone on last fri on communicator, leaving me all alone here with no one to talk to anymore, and Shirlene left me today. I wonder how am I suppose to survive alone at the recep without these two fav girls of mine chatting with me at communicator. Well, still gotta wish them all the best in their studies at sim and hope they will meet their mr. study right.

Can you imagine the customer service centre is open whereby everyone is having their half day off in this building? Totally feel like a fool to be sitting in the office where there is no one at all, like I'm here enjoying the raindrop. Alright, shall not complain, I shall enjoy the moment. Working here has been quite an enjoyable thing till now, at least all the colleagues are pretty nice and fun to hang out with. I can't deny that I love this job despite how much I always complain about the tiredness I had in me. If not, I won't be here having my sweet time blogging this post right now.

And I also can't deny that how badly I wish 2012 to quickly come to an end, and wanna start afresh on a brand new year. This year is really a year full of unhappiness and there are too many unlucky stuffs happening. I started this year with a happy tone, with everything was so beautiful and happy, and slowly, things got worse, everything started getting ruined, and I never feel happy ever since then.

The last semester in poly wasn't seem too good because of all the betrayal among groupmates, not referring to mine but to someone who used to be important to me. There were so much conflicts because of projects, where they betrayed like a bitch and behave like a bitch. This is the time where you really see someone true colors. There were too much hatred between each other in the course yet they are hypocrites to act like nothing happened and act like everything was fine, after stabbing someone hard. But I gonna admit that I'm like one hypocrite at times, just to survive in this cruel realistic world, but rest assured that I definitely not as bitch like those bims there. Can't believe that I actually felt so pissed when I recalled what exactly happened few months back, and I'm so gonna pray hard that I won't get to see their face ever again. So back to the relationship with him, everything was alright, and both of us loved each other badly for the first few months of the year, till quarrels, trust issues, respect and responsibility torn us apart. No trusts between us at all, or in fact, no trust was given to him at all. Quarrels are inevitable, but too much quarrels just made it worse. I'm a person who will want to settle an argument in order to make this relationship better in the future yet he's a man who doesn't like to harp on the argument. So perhaps, this made us felt that this relationship just can't last at all, with so much differences in us.

However, one of the happy thing or decision made this year were probably the responsibility in taking care of the hamsters, my ah pui and ah bai, my two and only favourite hamsters I'd would ever had. Sitting down here to recall back about the past, I can remember how much fun we had when we went to slowly choose the 'right' hamsters, the hamsters that we 'love at first sight'. We started forking out our own saving to buy the necessity for our babies, from the best bedding to the best sand bathe, then to the upgrading of their cage. But the sad thing is that I can't witness their growing up journey at all. We even had small argument whether to let who take care of the hamsters but he got the custody.

Then slowly, more and more arguments surfaced and it led to him wanting the break up so badly. There were times and again when I tried my best to win him back, giving myself a time period to prove him that things will turn well, but somehow, I gave up, I really chose to give up cause I felt so tired for fighting something that doesn't even belong to me anymore. I just don't find any point of wanting him back when his heart doesn't even belong to me anymore. True indeed that everything hurts, especially his words hurt the most. I cried for the thousands of times and I felt so lost most of the time. Everything happened when I was working at ntuc income, where I totally no longer have any motivation to move on, and work hard in the job. The job totally seems so idiot to me, sitting at the counter doing literally nothing. This doesn't make me move on, this made me think even more during work. I decided to quit after a month, knowing that this can't go on. I'd rather make use of the opportunity to find a better job out there which will make use of my talent more, haha.

After the broke up with him, friends know I was very upset and depressed. They brought me out to have gathering to make me don't think so much. This was the time when I got to know wm, through a friend's gathering. Things started well, till it slowly turns awkward in the end. There's no chance that I will accept a new rls that soon, neither do I want someone to have the hope in me that it might turn out well. I rejected him cruelly, then slowly we didn't really communicate anymore. Then, school starts, went into a brand new campus with no one I know. I was all alone all the times. But I was glad that I met nice bunch of girls for project groups and everything seems alright. It ain't easy to cope between work and studies. I couldn't stop falling asleep whenever I was in sustainable tourism class and this resulted me in failing the modules, as in high possibility of failing for sure. I struggled like mad during the revision period for the end year exam but sad to say, I think I'm gonna flunk the marketing mods too.

Then I got to know this boy through benjamin, and we became good friend after that. Yes, don. It was random yet memorable that how we became good friend after a meet up at kim gary. We started really talking to each other after the second meet up to badminton, and somehow, we clicked well. There were so much nonsense in us and we can't stop laughing whenever we hang out. That was the time when he had conflict with his girlfriend, and even ended up to a short 'break up'. Mom was so afraid that I will be xiao san but I assured her that I will never be. In fact, I'm he shi lao for both of them and making them patched back together! We went out in fact 6 days a week before he enlisted and I'll never forget how sweet he is to accompany me to kaplan to make payment and carried those heavy books back home with me. He's just like someone who is so important in my life. I miss the time badly, don. I remember how happy I was to receive your call when you enlisted for the first two weeks but slowly, we seemed to drift away, aren't we?

During the midst of the trimester, met this random guy, J, where many of my friends asked who is he. But the fact that he was just a normal friend of mine who I hang out with a couple of time. Yes, I admit that I was pretty happy when I received the random and surprise bouquet of roses from him and the special card that made me recognized that it was him who surprised me. But nothing happened after that, and it really means that we are just a hi-bye friend now.

Now, working at nea was the most peaceful thing happened this year. I don't meet any new guys and many friends were asking me how's my life now, and my reply will definitely be, "good and peaceful". To be honest, this year really doesn't seem to be a happy year for me, there seems more tears than smiles in me. I wanna be happy like the past, I don't want to carry so much responsibility in me that I ain't suppose to carry at all. The adding on of my family problem definitely make it more upset and painful. There were so many times my heart aches like mad, so many times I really scream so badly and cry like mad. All I wish from 2013 is full of happiness, more smiles and less tears and unhappiness.

May the new year really brings more joys to me, happy new year to all.

I'll write the 2013 new year resolution later on when I'm free and have thought of it. I'm gonna end work already, ciao all.